Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
