oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
