Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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