I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
