It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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