I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
