woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
