I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize