I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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