Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
