I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
