We tried having a conversation with our noses.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
