Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
she peed on how many people?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize