and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
It's shark week go big or go home
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
