I molested 6 butterflies tonight
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
