I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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