Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
