I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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