pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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