at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
