I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
