There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
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