shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
