Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
