whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Threesome in a minivan. New low
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
