dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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