How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
