Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
