proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
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