So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
This baby is an asshole
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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