She is in my trunk
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
