Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
