One girl and one boy is just not enough.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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