They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
