benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
