Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Slut skills are useful in every country.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
