Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
