so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
