I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Randomize
