their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Randomize