My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
