im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
