There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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