Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
