Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
