...so i touched it.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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