Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
