Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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