Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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