The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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