we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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