Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
