Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Such a big mess for such a small penis
The air taste purple.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
