i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
