Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
