That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
