Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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