She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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