My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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