i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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