Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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